I have had a very busy 5 days. Passover was a lot of running around. It was a lot of fun too, but just busy. Now it is back to work, and it's busy here too. Also I got very little sleep last night. I was up late watching cartoons and playing pokemon, and then I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't fall back to sleep. I finally dozed off about 15 minutes before I had to wake up, ended up getting up late and not getting to shower.

I am very tired. I think I'm going to call it an early night tonight.

Yesterday I went to the Japan Society in Manhattan and saw this anime movie called Paprika. It was a cool movie, but very weird. It's about this machine that lets people go inside someone else's dreams. But of course things go horribly awry when someone steals the machine and uses it to make some people go crazy for a little while, and then everyone... I'm not sure how. But regardless, a big plot point of the movie was that dreams reflect a lot about you, when in reality they often do not. Sometimes our dreams are meaningful and pertinent and it's fun to decode them, but sometimes they're just lunacy. It's important not to put too much importance on dreams or else you are going to find meaning even when there is none.

It's kind of like how if you're conscious of things having a specific number, you will be more likely to see that number in passing. For example, the move "The Number 23" was all about this guy finding the number everywhere he looked. But chances are if he looked for the number 74 or 49 or 15 he would find those too. It's like when you learn a new word and then all of a sudden you see it twice more that day. It's not because of some psychic energy all working to make this happen. It's just that you're more aware of it, so you'll notice it.

I always found that fascinating.

I've been feeling like writing lately.

The Wright Brothers thought that their invention of the plane would end all wars. I'm not sure why.
Alfred Nobel thought that dynamite would end all wars because it was too powerful.

It's just weird to think that we ever thought there was a limit to our ability to destroy. Now we know that we are capable of blowing up the entire Earth twenty times over. We will never end war with weapons. If we can end war, which we never will because we are human and humans love to fight, then it will come from cooperation, understanding, communication, tolerance, and a desire for peace. Right now, we don't have any of that. I don't know if we ever will.

In addition to this, I've been reading and hearing a little about people afraid to vaccinate their children. Jenny McCarthey had an interview with Time Magazine where she basically said that it was the vaccine companys' fault if people die from horrible diseases that she is telling every one not to get immunized against. She says that the vaccines are, to quote her directly, "shit" and that the vaccine manufacturers need make a safe vaccine that won't cause autism.

1. No recent medical studies have shown any link between vaccines and autism. The ONLY connection is that autism signs first display at around the same age as children get vaccines.

2. There have been tons of tests, but nothing convinces Jenny and her kin that vaccines will not cause autism.

3. Vaccines aren't 100% safe. They never have been and never will be. You are injecting people with a small amount of virus. There is always a chance that a child will get sick from it, but it is rare and the sickness is NOT autism.

4. There was a test done in Japan. I am not citing it because I'm just writing for myself. They stopped giving the MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) Vaccine to children for a whole year. In that year, the number of Autism cases continued in the same increasing trend that it has been.

5. Autism increase is not from vaccines. We've been giving vaccines for decades, but this upward climb in autism has only been recent.

6. Jenny claims her son was cured from Autism. He most likely never had it to begin with, but just displayed some anti-social behavior. She is now selling a book about how to cure your children.

I really feel bad for Jenny in a lot of ways, as I feel for all parents of Autistic children. Imagine your child had some horrible disorder and there was no cure and no way to help him or her. Imagine feeling so powerless, so scared, so angry, and so desperate to find a reason why. Instead of just accepting that right now we don't know the cause of Autism and that we can't blame anyone, Jenny and others have decided that they will blame something, anything, that seems threatening.

How can you lose when you're fighting against a faceless enemy like "vaccine manufacturers"? If you tell people that the medical industry is out to get them, a lot of times they will believe you. Pharmaceutical corporations are big, scary companies with a lot of power to harm you. They can make medicine that can kill you, and they do sometimes. Jenny can compete with them because she has a face, a story, a sadness that is real. Big pharma is a conglomerate, a mass of people, like Cobra Commander and his henchmen. Evil, literally faceless, scary, and trying to harm you.

But I do not want to live in a world with polio, small pox, measles, mumps, german measles... These diseases are horrible, and I'm not saying that autism is better than these. I am just saying there is no need to bring these diseases back for a false cause. 

I never really believed in Adam and Eve. When I was little, and I would go to Hebrew School or Temple, or I would talk to my parents about our religion, I was inundated with the knowledge of Adam and Eve. Two humans that God decided to place on the Earth, seemingly to dominate everything around them.

That never sat right with me.

I did believe in God for a time, especially in college when I was taking religion and philosophy classes and started having existential crises. I convinced myself that God must exist because if he/she/it didn't, then there was no point to all of this. And if there was no point to all of this, then not only would it be a massive waste of time and energy to try to live, but it just wouldn't be fair! Life is really hard, why should we struggle through it if there's no reason greater than just existing?

I began wondering about what makes life perpetuate itself. A focus of my curiosity was this sense of motivation that all creatures have to survive and carry on the species. Every living thing knows that it is in their genes to make another, whether through birth of an elephant or the splitting of a cell. We continue, we move, we grow, we prosper, on and on until we go extinct. So why would we do this if the perpetuation of life serves only to perpetuate more life?

If the bible is to be believed, God put Adam on the Earth to rule over all its creatures, and he put Eve on the Earth to keep Adam company, to provide Adam with offspring, and to be the bringer of knowledge. There is no way God did not know that Eve would talk to the serpent, or that she would eat from the tree. If he really didn't know, then why did he A) create the serpent, B) create the tree of knowledge, or C) give Eve the ability to speak? If he really was in control, then he knew it was going to happen, but instead of him just giving us knowledge, we had to disobey him. It's like god needed a reason to throw us out of Eden besides the idea that he just didn't want us there.

Regardless, this story can't be true just because of the paleontological evidence. Unless Adam and Eve were some kind of primitive ape-like creature that became the ancestor for all primates. I never thought it was true, even as a kid. I believed the tooth fairy was real for longer than I bought the Adam and Eve story.

But it was what I was taught, and it is a story that a lot of people believe. I do not want to tell these people they are wrong, but I want to learn why they believe it. I want to learn what others believe. I want to see how this creation story came about after probably thousands of other stories. And I want to see how we have changed and why believing in these stories helps people.

I want to learn about my species.

Yeah, I'm trying to come up with a name for a blog. That'll give me something else to do while I'm at work.

I can't wait for it to be 5. I want to just jump the fuck out of the office. It's only 6 more hours I guess. Ben is coming over tonight so I'm excited. Working full time really makes you appreciate the free time that you do have.

So I haven't posted in a long time. I'm not really good at journals. I think I must have mentioned before that I basically never remember to keep one once I have it started. Or even if I remember, I just don't. That's my bad. Usually nothing interesting is happening in my life to warrant me getting it written for posterity.

Things are going pretty well. I have a great boyfriend, I got into George Washington University grad program, which was my first choice, and I'm waiting to hear from a few other places.

I have a full-time job for the first time in my life. I did temp work for a little while at 40 hours a week, but this is a real legitimate full-time job, not temporary. For some reason, I have had some difficulty adjusting to it.

My schedule for the past year or so was basically working 12 to 5, m-f. Unless i didn't. I would roll out of bed at 11 or 11:30, get to work between 12 and 1, and then stay until pretty much whenever I wanted to. I did next to nothing at my job for 25 hours a week. My boss was never in, and even if there was something for me to do, I had no one telling me how to do it. No one talked to me except for the woman who sat in the cubicle next to mine and my step-father who worked at the same office I did. I kept to myself, and was basically miserable.

That job ended because it was a position for a secretary 1 and I was only a keyboard specialist 1 (civil service titles). That was definitely for the best because I basically hated that place so much that I seriously considered taking a shit on my boss' desk. Also, very quickly, I was accepted for a part-time job in the same school, but at a different branch.

I was doing really well, I liked my new job even though it was fewer hours. Everyone was nice and I actually had things to do! It was really good, so I did that for about a month. Then, my boss called me in and said that they wanted to make me full-time. She asked if I was interested, and I said yes because I'd be an idiot to say no. Later on she told me that she's glad I said yes or else I'd be out of a job.

It is not a hard job. It is a little dull and slow and quiet, but it is pretty laid back and everyone is very nice. However, I have had to make some serious adjustments to my schedule. Now it suddenly matters if I come to work or not. Now it matters what time I get to sleep and wake up. Now there's someone to report to when I need to do something.

I know I sound spoiled, but I'm just not used to these things. They scare me a little bit. It was easy when no one cared about where I was or when I came in. Now I have a responsibility to actually be at work, and sit for 7.5 hours (with another hour for lunch) every day, monday through friday. I know I should be happy to even have a job in this economy, and I am. It's not that I don't want the job, it's just that I haven't ever had to be responsible before.

So I'm kind of being forced to grow up. It's a good thing, I know. If I'm going to get a masters, I need to learn to be responsible and mature and keep a schedule. As an undergrad, I basically did just enough work to get by. I always did. I have high standards, but I only did just enough to get an A, or just enough to write a paper without even reading the damn book it was about. I don't want to be that person anymore. 

But it is a lot harder to grow up than I thought. I always imagine myself as one type of person, but I am not yet that person. I've been putting off becoming that person for a long time.  I guess now is the time when it starts to happen.

This was written by Seth "Occupy Japan" Bailey for an article called "Awfulvision" on Somethingawful.com. This is one of the best blocks of text I've seen from that site because it perfectly embodies how I feel about most of the stuff I see on the internet.

As an HU: The video he is talking about is called "Inside a inflatable whale" from YouTube.


"Look kid, I've been around the internet a time or two. I've seen things; things not meant for the eyes of man. Things you could only conceive of in your wildest, most depraved nightmares. I've seen images that would hollow out a man's soul and watched videos that would drive a saint to sin. I've seen attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.

"I have also seen some fat girls dance to 'Homies' by ICP.

"As you can imagine, your whale obsession doesn't faze me. Neither does the fact that you've created an inflatable whale suit. That shit is amateur compared to some of the insanity I've seen. I can even deal with the idea that you created this suit so that you could pretend to hump your other inflatable whales. Did you know some people get off on eating other people's shit? It's called coprophagia. There are people out there who like to snack on other people's turds and also possibly jack off while doing so. You think your whale costume is going to rattle me? Give me a fucking break.

"I must admit, however, that there is one part of your video that bothers me. It's not the whale costume. Like I said, no big deal. You'll find sicker shit than that by simply GISing 'horse' with the family filter off. Likewise, making a video of yourself humping your inflatable whales is small potatoes. I mean, hel-LO! This is AwfulVision. One time I reviewed an article of a dude shitting his pants while exercising. And not accidentally. It just so happened to make his dick hard to shit himself while exercising. When it comes to sexual deviancy, you're nothing.

"Like I said, I can deal with all of that. But goddamn dude, it's 'Inside AN inflatable whale', not 'A inflatable whale' you fucking retard."

SNL sucks. The only thing funny about it is Tina Fey playing Sarah Palin, and then they brought the real Palin on, and BIG SHOCK she's not funny and the show loses all its humor because now, instead of making jokes, they pander to this absolute mess of a woman. She is as incompetant at comedy as she is at everything else she does, except for killing innocent animals and naming kids stupid things. She rocks at those.

So, I've been reading this book written by a co-worker of a friend. I won't name names, because I'm about to be really cruel and that would just be rude, but the people who are reading this are probably the only people who know what I'm talking about.

This book is not available in stores. It was published by the author through a "publish-UR-self" type of online publishing site. Of course, I'm immensely pleased that people do not have easy access to this book because it is terrible.

Terrible.

There are no positive qualities to this book whatsoever. It is a trite, cliched, error-riddled book filled with typos, misspellings, grammar errors, and some of the worst dialogue, characterization, and narrative I've ever tried to read. It is painful to get through, and my friends know my pain well because I tell them about it all the time.

In summary, the world would be a better place if this book had never been written. By creating this pile, the author has actually DAMAGED the world. The space that the book occupies would be more helpful if it were taken up by carbon monoxide gas, used condom wrappers, and baby tears.

The one redeeming factor of this book is that it makes me feel good about my own writing skills. No matter what, at least I'm better than this guy. I've been complimented on my ability to write natural sounding dialogue in the past, and that is something in which I take great pride. But that's because people have read my work, edited it, and critiqued it, and from that I have improved. I don't think anyone ever edited this book, not even the author. He wrote it out over a couple of days, ran it through Microsoft Word spell check and then sent it in. He doubt he even read it a second time, let alone having others read it at all.

He's the worst type of writer: talentless and so insecure that he doesn't want anyone else to edit it, yet he proudly sends it around as a published work. I've known a few of these types in my life. They will defend their ideas and their abilities to the end, and ANY criticism, constructive or otherwise, is an attack on their honor. However, this becomes a problem because it is a BOOK. If you are writing a journal, it doesn't matter what your grammar or sentence structure is like, or how you portray characters. However, if you are writing a book, you are writing something that is supposed to be shared. And if it is to be shared, it needs to be edited to show you how people will react to it and what works and what doesn't. It is difficult to do that on your own because you are too close to the subject matter. Having an unbaised opinion on it really makes it fly.

I've done a little editing on this work. On less than 5 pages, I found over 15 errors, and that doesn't include his improper structure of quotes because there are just TOO many of them and it's always the same. This is what quote structure should look like:

"Larry is in the car," she said. "I don't know were Dave is."

And this is what his quote structure looks like:

"Larry is in the car." She said, "I don't know where Dave is."

Just the switch up of a comma and a period makes the whole thing completely awkward and almost meaningless in essence, even though readers will get the idea. Not a big deal to most people, but to an English major it is like a knife in the heart.

Another great thing he does is offer unnecessary detail. He will tell us everything about a scene, even if it's useless. For example, when the characters are at a diner  we learn that the main character gets pancakes and the girl he is with gets a fruit salad. Now, unless he is planning on making what they eat a part of the scene, it doesn't matter what they are eating. There's a phrase that I love: "If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there." From S. Shchukin, Memoirs (1911)

This line means, essentially, don't tell us something that is completely unimportant. If they are eating lunch, and you tell us he is having pancakes, he better pick up those pancakes and throw them like frisbees later in the scene, or else just don't tell us. Unnecessary detail is tedious.

Those are just a few things. I have a lot more but I'll stop here.

Yeah, so I don't update. Well, at least I can come to terms with it. I think it's important to accept the way you are and not to deny things about yourself.

For example, I hate Pac-Man. It's taken me a long time to admit it to myself, but I just don't like it. I know it's a classic and without it there wouldn't be the modern gaming that I love so dearly, but playing it just for that reason is like saying "I want to nail Christian Bale, so I'll go have sex with his grand father." It's a non-sequiter.

I'm reading this book called The Origin of Humankind by Richard Leakey. I am totally fascinated by it. I can't believe it's taken me 23 years to realize that I really like this stuff. I remember in college at some point reading about Neanderthals and discovering how they were not our direct ancestors but just a branch in a different direction from a common ancestor that we shared. And I though how amazing it was, the species and our relatives. This is not just another animal species, this is humanity. To be able to see where we have come from is really remarkable.

I went to the Museum of Natural History with Ben a couple weekends ago. The Hall of Human Origin had never seemed so fascinating. Also, I saw the Hall of Gem Stones for the first time in my life. Everything was shiny. Probably the best trip there ever. Ben didn't rush me, like my dad always did. My father got bored if we weren't looking at giant stuffed animals or the planetarium and he let everyone know it. I like to browse and learn. Also, we made fun of things, like the room of giant rocks and how boring it was.

Last weekend, Ben had a party at his house so I went with a bottle of Jager and a bottle of Vodka. We got drunk and played Rock Band a lot. Everyone was really nice, and pretty much everyone was Jewish, which was cool. Ben's cat climbed into an empty beer box, and so he said "Now there's a chance that he's both dead and alive!" It was the only party I've ever been to where someone made a Schroedinger's Cat joke and EVERYONE in the room laughed.

Just rambling now. That's all.

Hi, I don't update this. I should have known I wouldn't. But whatever. I went to Israel.

This is a picture that makes me laugh every time I look at it.




Israel was a pretty intense experience. I've been home for just about two weeks, so it all feels like a dream now. At the time, it was really very powerful. I was very stressed for most of it since I get anxious when I'm forced into social situations. However, now that I've had time to reflect, I kind of miss it. It was a really fascinating place that I could see really enjoying. I want to go back with my family because I think they would love it.

I feel somewhat closer to my Jewish heritage, even though I'm still agnostic. I don't feel closer to the religion or to God, but to my history and the people that came before me. At the Western Wall, I felt a kinship with thousands of years of my ancestors, aided by a cheesy video starring a guy who looked like the Caveman from the Geico commercials. Millions of Jews had traveled to the temple that the wall once guarded, and now the wall is the only thing left to remember it. And even though they were going to pray to a god that may or may not exist, they were real. The people were real people with lives and histories and stories. And they are my ancestors.

So here are some things that I remember from the trip. We went on an Archaeological dig at about 8 in the morning after a 10 hour plane ride. No time to rest, just off the plane, on the bus, a short break for lunch, a hike, and then into the caves. Traversing the caves was amazing. Crawling and shimmying through tiny spaces lit only by candles, blazing hot outside but cool and damp inside. It was a rush. If you have claustrophobia, you would have been in hell.

I rode a camel, had a personal talk with a complete stranger in the Negev Desert, and then slept for four hours in a Bedouin tent with 40 other people. Then, woke up at 4 AM, got dressed, and climbed Masada. One of the hardest days of my life. We then hiked to an Oasis and swam in this filthy but cold and refreshing water of the oasis with another birthright trip. THEN we went to swim in the Dead Sea. And then, after all that, they wanted us to go on a walking tour of Jaffa for 2 hours. I politely declined and retreated to my room for a well-deserved rest. Fuck Jaffa, I need sleep.

The Holocaust museum, Y'ad Vashem. Absolutely brilliant. I wanted to stay there all day, absorb every heart-breaking detail. We had 2 hours, and then we were rushed out. One of the most powerful places I've ever seen.

Of course Old Jerusalem. Tel Aviv. The crafts fair. I could have spent all my money at that crafts fair and still wanted more. Oh, and the Falafel at Abu Gosh. And the Falafel at the little stand in the Tel Aviv market. Aroma tuna sandwiches. Kinder Joy. Shwarma. Long Island Ice Teas and dancing until I couldn't.

I'll think of more.

My sister says that things only come to you when you're not looking for them. But other people tell me I can't wait around and let things happen to me. It's hard either way. Waiting is tedious, and doing is frustrating. Neither seems to really work 100 percent.

I'm starting to get apprehensive about Israel. It's not even the war or the anti-semitism that scares me, but the fact that I will be on my own in a country so unlike my own. I looked at the itinerary planned for my trip there and it looks amazing. Everything seems wonderful, fun, exciting, different. Riding on camels. Sunrise hikes. Swimming in the dead sea. Part of me can't wait, and part of me is terrified.

I think it will be good for me to get out of my comfort zone. I need to explore more. I need to see the world and be on my own and prove to myself that I can do it and that I'll be ok.

I'm listening to this audio book called "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle. Oprah is totally into him, but I don't even like Oprah, so I'm definitely not following her. He's this strange, vaguely European man who might be some kind of British. His book is essentially Buddhist doctrine explained in plain English. For the first 4 chapters, it was enlightening and insightful, and made a lot of sense. At the fifth chapter he starts talking about some shit that I think he made up on the spur of the moment to fill in the rest of his book. But regardless, it's a pretty interesting read.

I think humans are not really different from any other animal on the planet, but that we have the capability to be. Science tries to understand every aspect of the world and the universe, but the more we discover the more questions that arise. Not that we should ever stop learning and seeking new information, but I think humanity is distracted by everything that is not ourselves as individuals. We surround ourselves with community, with science, with religion, with war, hoping to find the answers to all our questions from these outside forces. But we hardly ever look inwards for the answers, which really is where it all lies. Peace, humanity, identity, love, it's all in us. We avoid it though, and look elsewhere. It is hard to sit down and look inside, much harder than reading a book or going to church or typing on a computer.

I've been thinking about this a lot.

I haven't posted in a long time. I don't even remember the last time. Specifically, it's because nothing really exciting has been happening. I wonder how many "I'm back, and my life is still boring" posts are on Live journal everyday. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say a whole bunch.

But yeah, I'm still in my shitty job, still single, still moving through life like many people move through Jell-o if they're into that sort of thing.

I think I should start writing again. I haven't written anything of any importance in a very long time. It might help me get through the days. Not that life is so tough now, but when I think of my daily life the word "trudge" comes to mind fairly often. I'm moving towards goals, but slowly and with much effort. Like Jell-o.

It's funny how often I'll get ideas for really cool, strange stories by just listening to things. I've been heavily into podcasts lately, specifically skeptic podcasts. They are really interesting, informative, and helpful, since everyday we are bombarded by so much nonsense that we end up unable to differentiate the truth from the lies. These podcasts usually take arguments that are controversial or misleading and then put real scientific evidence up against them to show why the argument is moot.

For example, the whole "creationism vs. evolution" argument is something that comes up a whole lot. Essentially, skeptics believe what the science tells them, because the science provides real testable evidence as opposed to claims of pure faith. The skeptics see the fossils and results from carbon dating, and know that the world is billions of years old, and animals evolve. Others believe that god made the earth a few thousand years ago and then have several explanations for why we find fossils that we date as being millions of years old (including "God wanted us to believe the world was that old, even though it's not" and "The carbon dating is an inaccurate science.")

However, the problem with these podcasts is there is always a sense of superiority that is projected in the voices of the skeptics. They feel that they are somehow "better" or "smarter" than others because they hold faith in science while others hold faith in the bible. No one is better than anyone else, no matter what they believe. If you believe in God, you are not better than the Atheist, and the Atheist is not better than the Buddhist, and the Buddhist is not better than the Pagan. We are all people, and we all want to survive and live and be happy.

Granted, happiness may come easier for the skeptics since they allow their knowledge to grow and change over time with each new scientific discovery while bible-followers remain rigid in the face of all opposing evidence. Scientists will admit that nothing is solid and that what we know now might not be what we know 10 minutes from now. Bible-followers feel that there is no truth but the bible, which makes finding happiness harder sometimes, because the changes that always come are not accepted and merely shake the false sense of stability that they have built for themselves.

The point is, things change and grow. Science allows for these changes, the Bible does not.

Darwin said "It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change."

I've been thinking about change a lot lately. We all change and grow. Nothing remains the same. The bible-believers create a false sense of stability by clinging to the never wavering bible, God, Jesus, whatever. Scientists have come to accept change, and are therefore more at peace. Accepting change, which goes against human nature, is the key to finding true stability in oneself.

Nuff said.

It comes in small doses.

So this past week was one of the busiest I've had in a long time.

Monday, I went to my sister's house. She was feeling kind of down about the ending of a relationship, so we went out to dinner and talked about how much men such. It was cathartic, which is my new favorite word. I've been using it a lot.

Tuesday, I hung out with Jax. We played some games and chatted which was really nice. We also went out for sushi and we tried going to the place next to the Asian market, but they only serve sushi and it was a minimum of 30 dollars a person. I didn't understand why it had to be 30 bucks per person, and I don't even think I could eat 30 dollars worth of sushi at one sitting. We went to Imperial Wok, which served more than sushi and had no minimum. Fuck those other guys.

Wednesday I went out on a date with a guy named John. We only met for an hour. He was 32. Enough said.

Thursday, I had therapy like I always do. God I love therapy.

Friday I went out to dinner with my dad, grandma, and sister for my sister's birthday. We went to a place that had previously been Greek but turned into Italian since the last time we'd gone. The food was great. My family is amazing. We are so funny. My grandma cracks me up so much.

"Joel, remember the restaurant where you got sick and fainted? I think we'll go there tonight."

Saturday, I went to the East Village with my sister, Jackie, Michelle, and Cathy. We had amazing Margaritas at this Mexican food place.





Then we went to a bar called "Off the Wagon." I did Yager bombs, which is a shot of Yager dropped in Red Bull. I had no idea it was red bull, I thought it was beer. It was delicious.
I also met this guy:





His name is John and he was very drunk.

Sunday, Mom, Bill, Al, Jackie, and I all went to Morton's Steakhouse for one of the best, ritziest meals ever. I had a filet mignon and lobster tail, a crab cake, salad, creamed spinach, and hot chocolate cake. Unbelievably delicious.

Monday (this monday) was Ali's Birthday. We went to King Buffet and they played Happy Birsday.
Tuesday... I had a nice evening with a friend from out of town.
Today, I did nothing.

^___^

So it's been a while since I've made a proper entry.

Two weekends ago I went to Boston to visit my college friend Kelly. She lives in Brookline. When I first got there we went to this really cool restaurant called Shabu Shabu Kaze. The table looks like this:




That pot holds broth, and you choose a meat and a type of pasta. Then you get a plate of raw veggies that you throw in and cook it all in the broth and eat it. I got Ostrich, which looks and tastes more like beef than any other bird would.




The whole thing was delicious and fun. I love dining that is entertaining, like going to a hibachi or cooking your own food.

We walked around Boston for a while in the rain, just killing time and chatting and catching up, but later on in the evening we went to Beerworks, which is a popular tourist pub and micro-brewery. I had blueberry beer, which had actual blueberries in it.




The beers were huge, I had 2 of them. Then we went to see Mad TV alum Aries Spears do stand up at the comedy connection in Fanieul Hall. Kelly and I had a great time making fun of him for the whole day before hand because... It's fucking Aries Spears. This is him, and it's ok if you don't recognize him because he's no one terribly important or talented.





He did a whole bunch of jokes about how white people are different from black people, about how men are different from women, and about how Arabs are scary and Gay people are weird. All in all, I could have done better on stage with a Pina Colada and a Vodka martini in me, which is incidentally what I drank at the show.

Afterwards, Aries was posing for pictures with people who wanted to actually be on camera with him. Kelly and I choked in the presence of such greatness. We went to the Hardrock Cafe bar and got drunk. I had 2 Sex on the Beaches and a SoCo and Lime shot. It was really great.

The next day we were both hung over. We went to the Science museum and the Cheesecake factory, but I was so out of it that I couldn't really pay much attention to anything. The Science museum had a butterfly garden which was really amazing. Then I drove home.

Also, I love my GPS.

So that was my weekend. I'll tell you about this week in another entry.

Fucking tired from a weekend in Boston. Back soon with photos and details.

Anyone out there who doesn't go to therapy is totally missing out. I feel so much better about life when I go. Maybe it's just that I have an awesome therapist. Maybe it's that I just need an unbiased opinion in my life. Maybe I am too cynical and need someone to smack me and tell me that stuff isn't as bad as it seems.

Things are never as bad as they seem. We have people who love us, a roof over our heads, food in our bellies, and independent minds capable of amazing things. I just need to remember that when things start getting foggy.

I also over-complicate things, take things too seriously, and make mountains out of molehills all the time. It's part of my problem that I'll always be working through. My therapist reminds me that most things aren't big deals, and to get upset about them usually just wastes energy.

That's all for now. Looking forward to a fun weekend.

Everything is subjective.

It's really difficult to think about things from an objective point of view.

Here's something I have difficulty with:

Peta, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, argues that we should stop testing on animals, stop wearing fur, stop eating meat, etc. They are hypocrites. Many of Peta's members, including a lead member, have or have had illnesses that have required medicine or procedures which have come about because of animal testing. If we had never tested on animals, they would be dead. Logically, knowing that the medicines they received were tested on animals, they should have either denied treatment or beaten themselves up in a dark alley afterwards. In addition, an article at Consumerfreedom.com claims that Peta kills 97 percent of the animals that they take in.

Consumerfreedom.com, which supports the rights of people far more than animals, has their own propaganda. A short commercial calling Peta members lunatics, and claiming that Peta would prefer to save the lives of little mice and rats more than they would like to cure breast cancer. This commercial is no better than Peta because it is degrading people for beliefs. Instead of offering facts about the actions Peta takes, they are mud-slinging, which is the worst kind of way to get people to support you. There are lots of people who disagree with Peta, so they will very likely support consumerfreedom.com without even paying attention to this. Are they blowing up animal testing facilities or simply picketing outside of the building? Is it so bad that they might want to save animals, even at the risk of hurting humans?

This is truly the argument I have trouble with:

Is the life of a human worth more than the life of an animal?

The first instinct for someone is to say "Yes," but that is easy to say because most people, save for the members of Peta, will agree with you without thinking. I'm not on Peta's side, I don't even like Peta, but philosophically speaking is one life worth more than another?

If you think about it, actually focus on it and analyze the issue, it becomes more and more difficult to say for sure. We are all animals, humans are at the top of the food chain and can think rationally; therefore, humans must be the most important. Can we say that for sure and truly mean it?

The Judeo-Christian bible is very human-centric. In Genesis, God allows Adam to name and take control over all the animals on the land, in the sea, and in the air. In other religions, however, animals and humans are on the same wavelength. Buddhists believe in reincarnation, so anyone could be reborn as any animal; therefore, humans and animals are equal because we are all interconnected.

Who is right? Why do we instantly believe that a human is worth more than a monkey or a bunny or a mouse just because those creatures cannot speak? If the animals had rational thought, would we still feel the same way? Probably, but we can't say for sure.

This has been bugging me for a while. The truth, I think, is that an animal, in the grand scheme of things, may be worth the same as a human (i.e. a monkey is worth the same as a man in the eyes of God). But to another human, one of our species is worth more than one of a different species, period. It falls in line with the natural order of things, to preserve ourselves and continue the species. If a mouse could choose who to kill, another mouse or a human, I bet it would choose the human.

Yeah, sorry about the last entry. It was unusually emo of me. I'm not usually such a whiny bitch, but hey, at least I didn't write any poems about how my life is all darkness and the only place I'm happy is in my room with my Evanescence cds.

This weekend, as per routine, I slept over at Jax's house, and then Jax went to hang out with a friend in CT so I hung out with Matt. We went to the Palisades, and Romantic Depot, which is a store in which everyone is torn between being completely embarrassed about where they are, and being totally happy that everyone in the store is feeling the same way. There were a lot of giggles, and the people who work there are amazingly comfortable with sex toys. I guess they kind of have to be, but it's something that I can't quite get used to... just people talking openly about the kind of pleasure I can get from specific vibrators. I guess part of me is still 13, and part of me was raised by a family who, like most, didn't speak openly about sex toys. I actually admire them for being so comfortable with it, helping to break down the discomfort of something so common and natural as sex.

Our society is still very puritanical, and anything past a certain point is considered obscene and not appropriate. But why? Why is sex hidden? It's something we all do, something we all enjoy, and still we're supposed to keep it hidden. It's like if enjoying cake were considered obscene, and you have to go to special places where they check your license before you can buy some cake. Bah, puritanical cake-hating nonsense!

Anyway, here's a picture of Matt and Alex (the kitty).




I take the GRE on Monday. Tomorrow is studying day.